It's time! I've entered the blogging community. Is it bad to say this is for a class? Ah well. I suppose there could be worse assignments. Like that 32 hour observation report for my education class (that has been calling my name since day one of the semester). I'm not sure how I feel about blogs. Reading is an interest of mine; writing as well. But do I want to publish MY thoughts to the internet? Negative. Do I want to make an A in my class? Affirmative (Dr. Chance.. you love me).
This is supposed to be an account of my last semester as a freshman at Harding (life, ramblings, and such). I suppose I'll give it a shot.
Life lately has just been hard. Am I the only one who is feeling that? Yesterday I went to a nearby coffee shop. The barista asked how I was.. I replied, "Life is just handing me lemons." I think my reply caught him off guard from the usual "good" he probably received. And at this point, I wish I had stuck with the normal, taken my iced latte -- and went on my merry way. However, he just sincerely smiled at me and said, "I completely understand." That's all I need to hear sometimes. I need someone to tell me that they understand. I'm probably just crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
If anyone truly knows me, they know that I hate making decisions. I have a hard time handling disappointment. And that I love Harding. BUT...(there's always one).. due to weird circumstances involving money, I may not be attending Harding again in the Fall. I'm doing all that I can at this point in the game. Trying to explain all of the technical details would just be pointless. However, I'm praying so hard about this. I know that I could be happy at the local community college. If that were to happen, I would be able to have my own apartment (a dream of mine). This is harder than it should be though. Because I love my friends here. I love my club. I love that I'm growing spiritually. I love my roommate. I wish that I knew what the future held, but that would just take all the fun outta life, wouldn't it?
I am stumbling, but we are stronger after we break. We're being refined and grown and shaped. And the important part, the part that we don't see because it is too hard to see anything but ourselves -- it is His Kingdom. And it is this great hope: that we are children of The King. And that He is The King who redeems wrecked people. And who loves us enough to mend us.
And even though some days He feels so distant that I feel blind and terribly alone, I can not question Him. I belong to Him and it is good to belong to Him.
Current Music: The Civil Wars. (just click it)
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